My Happy Ending

I had it all figured out. You would fall in love with me the way I fell in love with you. We would get married and have kids. You would be the perfect mother, always there for her children and her husband, looking perfect and beautiful as always. I fell in love with your beautiful eyes even though they were contacts, your long, beautiful dark hair even though they were extensions, your long legs that went on forever, the way you signed your name with a little heart on top, the way your trousers grabbed you, the way I knew without even touching, that your body was perfect and the way the cleft in your lips would fit perfectly with mine, everything about you was simply perfection. I had fallen and fallen hard. You were my happy ending.

We started talking by accident. We knew each other but we had never crossed the bounds of ‘hi’ friends. It started with a game of numbers. You would pick a number and send it to all your friends and they would publicly post what they felt about you putting only your numbers. Your comments were less than kind but they were well intended and I took it a bit to heart, wasting no time in telling you how I felt. You apologized stating that hurting me was not your intentions.

School resumed and your face was the first face I wanted to see, every other face was a blur till I saw yours. We sat and talked for hours and I would stop talking to stare into your blue eyes. On other girls, blue eyes would have looked stupid, disgusting maybe, but with you it was refreshingly beautiful. When I had to leave you it felt like there was a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow. The next day, once I saw your face, all my lumps were gone.

I had to impress you; your approval meant the world to me. My dressing improved drastically, I consulted my top fashionable friends and listened as they matched colors, and different combos and I would beam from ear to ear as I saw your approval. You had a boyfriend but I didn’t care. I knew love would prevail.

My birthday came and I wanted you to have a taste of my red velvet cake, like it was a taste of my heart. You were a vegetarian, so I made sure not to forget as I thought to buy meals for you. A few days after my birthday we were to leave school for Christmas break, before we left my closest friend told me to stop talking to you, I asked him why but he said “nothing” and I didn’t press him, he was my closest friend and I trusted his judgment. Besides, he had known you for close to three years now after he had crushed on you in our first year, although nothing had happened between the two of you. Christmas break was painful. I wouldn’t see you for a month even though we stayed in the same state, but I made sure to tweet and mention you all the chances I got.I called and we talked. I even got curious as to why my closest friend wouldn’t want us talking, and so I questioned you about it. You said you didn’t have any idea but I should ask him. I did and he said nothing again and that I should forget about it and I did.

The break was eventful, your best friend was celebrating her birthday and of course all of her closest girls were invited along with her boyfriend and two of her male friends. And of course with the celebration came pictures, the picture of the day being one you took with one of your male friends that was present, although it was strictly platonic, your boyfriend was angry and asked for it to be taken down, you guys broke up a few weeks later. My closest friend called me and said that there was something important that you had to tell me, that something had happened to you. I asked what it was but he insisted that you be the one to tell me.

I didn’t have airtime, so I sent you a direct message instead asking what had happened, you insisted that nothing had happened but I pressed on and I pissed you off. Your anger made me feel pain. I was like my stomach had sunk and it was never going to rise again.

Days went on and so did the weeks, school resumed again and I offered an explanation along with my apologies, it seemed all was well in the world again. I told her the role our mutual friend had played and she was curious into the motivation behind his action. They had had a little squabble and she had said she wouldn’t talk to him again. But our mutual friend had sunk his teeth in deep and in no time again they were once more friends.

He turned all my truths into lies while holding me close, and keeping himself informed of my plans. You refused to talk to me. I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking of you. I turned to one of the few people I could for advice – my sister – and she told me to focus, my academics couldn’t suffer because of you. I tried but I was failing miserably at it.

I summoned up courage and told you about my feelings and you acted like I had told you that the sky was blue by replying with a simple “so???”. My heart was shattered, my hopes dashed. I questioned myself and wondered what I had done wrong. I asked your best friend but she was being vague and implied I leave you alone. I continued on with my life as best as I could, closing myself up and becoming the type of guy I had always said I would never be.

It was good, the thrill made me forget till I saw your tweets implying that you and our mutual friend were now in a relationship, one faithful august day and as I sat in class listening to Avril Lavinge’s happy ending on my iPod, rain pouring around me, I realized there and then that there is no such thing as a happy ending.

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