A Letter To My Lover

You were my first love. But I rejected your love to satisfy my own self desires and pleasures. I watched your heart break every time but I didn’t care, I was having fun. I watched your tears fall but I didn’t care about your pain only my pleasures. It got old, I wanted you back but I couldn’t find my way. Till I heard the soft whispers of your words and your gentle touch on my heart on the 5th of February 2013.

I found my way back to you and gave you my heart. This time I was serious. Your love overwhelmed me, changed me, now all I think about is you. A week spent loving you felt like a month and I was happy. Coming to seek your face is a pleasure. I would raise my voice higher to make sure you heard every word I said, I would sing to you with all my heart just to show you how much your love had touched me. Every step I took was aimed at pleasing you. You meant that much to me.

I only had to ask and you gave me without holding back, even when I had nothing but my heart to give back. On Valentine’s Day I took your love for granted, automatically assuming that you would be my Val, and not knowing that others wanted your hand. I was in the shower when I realized my mistake and I ran to write you a valentine poem and ask you to my Val. It was late but you accepted my proposal turning others away.  You even sent me cake when I had no gift for you. That was the extent of your love.

We recently celebrated our two week’s anniversary. I decided to fast knowing the feast you had for me afterwards would be great. And you showed yourself strong. I thought I had felt the extent of your love but you showed me more love than was humanly possible and I bowed under the weight of your love.

And here I am writing this letter just to say I love you and thank you for loving me even when it seemed like a hopeless journey.

To Jesus, my first love,



Where have you been?

As I sat in my KIA Rio driving back home from work, my mind raced off. It had been a stressful day at work. I had been called in out of the blues due to some emergencies. The beauty of my work was that I didn’t have to work until I was needed. Today, I was called into one of the organizations I worked for because there had been rumours of a hostile takeover and my employers needed to prevent it and hence my presence at work today. I was a private consultant and at the moment I was contracted to several well-paying companies.
I turned on the radio to the sound of Rihanna singing ‘Where have you been’, her newest single, the sound of techno beat filling the car. I un-knotted my tie as I asked myself the same question. Where have you been? I had previous girlfriends, but none of them fit the picture I had in my head of the perfect girl. I had seen my parents act with love ever since I was a child, but now my father was dead and my mother tried without success to forget him. I could see she missed him each and every day. I had wanted that since I knew what it was. I wanted the kind of happiness and love that my parents had while they were together. I wanted that kind of love that was supposed to be a myth.
My mother kept asking me when I was going to bring a woman home to her, when she would see my children – her grand-children. My sisters were all married and bearing kids. I was comfortable enough to start my own family she said. She had eventually stopped asking, I remember her saying “I wouldn’t let you kill me, when you are ready I would be here waiting”.
I took a left turn at the next intersection. My stomach grumbled. I remembered I had not eaten breakfast today because of the rushed visit to the office. I spotted a KFC outlet in the distance. I parked into one of the available spaces. I took off my jacket, tossing it into the car seat beside me and straightened my purple shirt and rolling up my sleeves showing off my muscular arms. I looked in my car mirror and thought I looked good for someone who had just clocked 32. I applied some Vaseline to my dry pink lips and brushed my hair. I stepped out of the air-conditioned car, and into the building.
I walked over to the register and ordered myself a meal, and as I turned to take a seat I saw her. She was tall, with chocolate-brown skin, the prettiest face, hair that I wanted to run my hand through and a dress that showed of her beautiful body. She looked me in the eye and I saw her beautiful eyes and I knew she was the one. She was everything I looked for in a perfect girl. Tall, but not taller than me, I liked to look down into a woman’s eyes. Being pretty, was a requirement. But it was the eyes I always looked out for. One requirement was beautiful eyes. I had a thing for beautiful eyes.
We stared into each other’s eyes for a while before I stopped the eye contact to take a seat. She went on to order her meal and sat down at the table opposite me, facing me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her face. She was the most exquisite thing I had seen.
She picked a piece of her French fries and slowly, looking me in the eyes dipped it ketchup and brought it to her mouth. Done putting the fries into her mouth, she licked her fingers in a slow, seductive way. What she was doing was working and she knew the effect she had on me. She then grabbed her bottle of Pepsi and slowly sucked the dark liquid with her straw. She was playing with the straw like a pro showing off her pretty lips and putting suggestions into my head of what I wanted to do to her once I had gotten her alone.
She smiled at me like she had no idea what she was doing. I couldn’t swallow the food in my mouth as my throat instantly felt dry. I gulped a large amount of my Pepsi to force the food down my throat. I decided to play the game she was so willing to play. I stroked my chicken with my expert hands. I dipped two of my fingers into the ketchup and brought it to my lips and sucked on it. Her eyes widened as she saw what I was doing. I dipped my fingers back into the ketchup, brought it out and stroked the chicken with it.
I didn’t care that I was in a public restaurant, I was too far gone with the little game we were playing. I noticed a ketchup smudge on my palm and I brought out my tongue to lick it off, showing her the length of my tongue and what I could do with it. She crossed and uncrossed her leg. I smiled to myself and winked at her. She laughed loudly, her voice rich and melodious. I was hooked and I wasn’t sure she was letting me off anytime soon.
I stood up abandoning what was left of my meal, and noticed the staff staring. I smiled and walked to her table. I placed both my hands on the table and looked her in the eye and asked her the first question that came to my head.
‘Where have you been?’ and with a smile she replied me.
‘I’ve been right here, waiting for you’.